Fun in the sun - the Strollers’ silly season finale in Ibiza! (part 2)

It may have only been six hours since the sun had risen on Sunday and the Strollers had ambled back in from their night in Ibiza town - where they had enjoyed a night of singing, cocktails, Hed Kandi and a televisual feast at a local seafood restaurant – but at noon the squad was back on the way to San Jose. The collective hush on the bus suggested the day’s 20/20 thrash could be a big ask but, nonetheless, the Strollers admirably arrived in time to watch the artificial pitch again being rolled out to the centre, ready for action. With Martin absent on a family engagement, it was Ibiza’s vice skipper Stewart who called correctly at the toss and elected that, once again, his side should bat first.

Clearly intending to tip and run from the off Ibiza wasted no time in mounting their total. However Gav hoped to have gained some inside knowledge from the previous day’s game and, by deploying a similar in/out formation to that which Martin had set, was unlucky not to gain an early breakthrough when Van Byfeld was dropped at cover off Simon’s first over.

Forced to forego his early nap, K***** was given the second over and kept everyone guessing – not least himself - by bowling each ball at a different pace including, bizarrely, a quicker delivery off a full length Bob Willis run up. But this paled into insignificance next the spectacle of a remarkable – and successful – chase to the boundary by Dickie after a delivery off K*****’s second over had been disptched through the covers. Having impressively made the ground and scooped the ball back into play Dickie’s balance utterly deserted him and, as he somersaulted forward, he somehow managed to topple hilariously over the boundary fence so that all onlookers were treated to the sight of nothing but his legs splaying akimbo as he fell earthward – providing an early champagne moment.

Perhaps it was these gloriously saved runs that inspired the Strollers to claim their first wicket. De Dazzler, brought on to replace Simon in the fifth over, cast aside the walking stick he had needed since his innings of the day before, for a spell that immediately looked to threaten. Off just his third delivery dangerman Van Byfeld lunged uppishly at a ball not really there to be hit and drove directly to deep midwicket where Simon took a smart catch with the Ibiza score on 35.

However Ibiza hardly blinked at the loss and kept the Strollers field constantly at work. In particular Guy, back from Saturday’s injury, seemed to have the ball follow him at long off although he admirably managed to save numerous runs despite the pain barrier.

By the ninth over the score was up in the eighties and the situation was beginning to look worrying but then  De Dazzler struck again as Short was bowled and denied his half century. His partner Homley took up the reins and, when George was brought on to replace K*****, took advantage of his greater flight and twice sent the ball overhead and into the basketball court at the end of the pitch, powering the sore past the hundred. Graeme was brought on in George’s place and unsettled the batsmen whose desire to press on caused them to take extra risks. Cooper was lucky to survive a bumbled run out attempt but then Graeme struck, trapping him LBW for just 2.

Harsh was brought on to replace De Dazzler who left the field of play to rest his leg and Deavs – who felt it unthinkable that he should tour and not take part – bravely stepped in at short midwicket despite broken bones and a dodgy digestive system. With several other Strollers also feeling the pain as the day wore on, Homley and Way pressed on with an array of shots around the park that stretched the tiring field to it’s limits and the score passed 150.

Harsh finally put an end to the rot by bowling Homley for 41 and Parmenter was undone for a duck in the same fashion two balls later. But sensing that Harsh was tiring and would be needed to make an important contribution with the bat, Gav made his second controversial decision of the weekend and took him out of the attack, allowing Simon to return.

With just four overs remaining, Ibiza’s batsmen now opted for the route one approach and, despite the Strollers best efforts, Way and Burden sent ball after ball to the boundary. The frustration was compounded when Simon saw a mistimed drive from Way go down as he knocked a chance up to midwicket where all around witnessed the unfolding tragedy as Deavs tried but failed to get hand to ball.

Ibiza closed their innings on a massive 191-6 and, with the Strollers limping off licking their wounds, the fears of earlier in the day were realized …this was certainly a big ask. After a quick turnaround matters looked even more troublesome as, having barely had time to digest their sandwiches, the Strollers looked on in dismay as Harsh, playing across the ball, was bowled out for a diamond duck off the first ball of the innings. Having clearly done their homework on the Strollers’ most potent batsman, the Ibiza field leapt in elation.

Chris, coming in at three, stoically tried to appear undeterred as he tried his hardest to get the ball away and ran singles where possible with Graeme who had today been promoted to open. But again, Ibiza’s bowling and fielding was as sharp and accurate as ever and progress was stilted. Graeme’s efforts to play forward eventually got the better of him as he played down the wrong line to Way and was dismissed for 7. Gav, next in, fared no better as his efforts to replicate the aggression of the previous day got the better of him and was beaten without scoring with a misjudged swing to Van Byfeld’s bowling.

K***** joined Chris but the partnership was not to last long either as Lucas strode down the wicket, missed and was stumped for 12. However Chris remained in the middle in virtual ‘batting purgatory’ as he was required to run for Guy who, despite stepping out for his first Strollers innings in years, was again suffering from his strained groin. A couple of attractive boundaries from K***** restarted the Strollers innings but, when he attempted a third, he was dismissed in truly spectacular fashion as Stewart took a diving reflex catch off a scorching S**** cover drive that seemed to be heading nowhere but the boundary, giving the onlookers no option to applaud wildly - no matter how painfully in the case of those supporting the Strollers.

At the fall of the wicket, with the score on a paltry 38-5, drinks were taken and De Dazzler padded up. There then followed one of the most bizarre sights seen on a cricket field – in a scene that perhaps befitting the Strollers more than any other cricket side not two but FOUR batsmen strode out to the middle (with Messrs Barker and Haines both requiring runners) as cameras around the ground flashed to record the moment.

With the state of play fast descending into farce with the striker/ non-striker permutations testing the logic of all assembled, both sides had little option but to laugh at the madness. Unfortunately (or fortunately) the situation did not last long as Barker only managed a single before Burden had him bowled. Next in came Matt who dispatched a fine pull shot for four before Van Byfeld did for him as well.

George’s tenure at the wicket was as dramatic as it was short. Calling Chris for a non-existent suicidal single, Ibiza returned the ball to Parmenter who seemed so stunned that he completely forgot that he needed to take the bails off and somehow Lucas made his ground – saving De Dazzler from the infuriation of being run out without running two days in a row. George however offered no further resistance as he was bowled next ball and strode off the pitch trying to fathom exactly what had just happened and why.

With just eight overs remaining and 150-odd still to get, De Dazzler decided he had Ibiza just exactly where he wanted ‘em and, without ever moving his feet, began a truly Trescothick-esque assault on the bowling, beginning with a huge six over midwicket off Byfeld, a four, and then, two overs later a stunning three sixes off as many balls off the hapless Short. Two more boundaries came and went – including another six that threatened to decapitate those watching in the football stands – before, having struck a fearsome 45 off just 15 balls, Parmenter somehow got one through his defences and sent De Dazzler back to the pavilion to a standing ovation from all present.

Dickie’s run out shortly thereafter was to be the final act of  arguably one of the more entertaining Strollers defeats for despite, slumping to only 98 all out, the sheer absurdity of it all – from the first ball of the innings to the fourth of the seventeenth over when it all ended – will live long in the memory.

On behalf of his side, Gav afterwards accepted the generous words and a commemorative plaque from Stewart and the Ibiza team, and thanked them with a Strollers tour kit for their magnificent hospitality. A special mention must go to Martin Makepeace without whose efforts in making the arrangements the tour may never have happened. The Strollers agreed that although the weekend may have ended without the victory that they had so desperately wanted - having been thoroughly outplayed both days - Ibiza 2008 would be one to chalk up for the history books!

Upon the Strollers’ return to London, and after a small drama at Stansted where George seemed to go AWOL at baggage reclaim – prompting a ‘Code Brown’ to be announced over the tannoy - Gav reflected that both on and off the pitch it had been a hugely enjoyable weekend with many highlights. And for Gav, the experience of leading the Strollers abroad had been as much an honour and a privilege as it has been at home in what has been a wonderful season - thank you to all who made it happen. Let’s do it again sometime.

¡Caminata adelante!

Gavin Richardson
29.09.08

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